Welcome to The Quiet Rich, your weekly guide to a quiet mind and rich life. Today, you’ll get the monthly ritual I’ve have been doing for ages.
But first, Ben and I are celebrating something BIG today. 🥹
His book, How To Be Good At Life is officially available to pre-order!!!
I have watched this man pour his heart and soul into every page of this book over the last 3 years. I’ve read every version of every chapter. It’s by far the best self-help book since Atomic Habits.
The book officially ships on October 6th. But! Ben wanted to give you something special even sooner. If you pre-order it today, you’ll get instant access to his course: Year of Systems. It’s 52 weeks of bite-sized systems that make life feel so much more effortless. Think: a system for remembering birthdays or a system for spending less time on your phone. They're all so good.
The course is only free for the first 5,000 people, so I really wouldn’t wait! 1,000+ have been claimed in the last 24 hours.
CONTEXT
In my experience, relationships don’t usually end from one big betrayal. They're more often caused by a thousand tiny things left unsaid.
Like…the appreciation you meant to say out loud, but never did because you just assumed they knew. Or the tiny annoyances that you swallowed, but grew into big ones. And by the time you finally sit down to talk, resentment has been compounding for weeks.
I found the #1 way to get ahead of all that.
It’s called "Life Dinner," a ritual created by venture capitalist Brad Feld.
On the 1st of every month, he and his wife Amy go out to dinner. It's not a date night per se. It's more of a deliberate time to reflect on the month behind them and the one ahead.
Ben and I borrowed this idea… then made it our own. Ours is part-personal reflection, part-joint reflection. Here's exactly how we run it.
METHOD
The logistics are easy:
- Set a recurring calendar invite for the 1st of every month. It can take as little as 20 minutes, but block out 1-2 hours in case the conversation goes deep. (The best ones do.)
- We like to choose a new restaurant each time, as we continue to explore Miami, but you could easily do this at home.
After we put in our order with the server, we take turns answering three sets of questions:
1. Personal Reflection on Last Month
- What am I proud of myself for doing this month?
- What could I have done better?
- What am I worried about for next month?
2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month
- What's one thing I appreciated about you this month?
- What could have gone better in our relationship?
- How do we want to improve moving forward?
3. Personal Goals for Next Month
- What do I hope to achieve over the next 4 weeks?
This last one is so powerful. Saying your goals out loud to someone who loves you = built-in accountability. It’s kind of like a monthly version of The Hugh Jackman Method I’ve written about to have the perfect day.
Pro tip: Write it down. I keep my Life Dinner thoughts in a note on my phone. I usually jot down a few things before dinner so I show up more mindfully.
And at the end of the year, I have 12 monthly reflections that are so interesting to look back on. It’s a highlight reel of how I grew, what I overcame, and how our relationship evolved.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
One pushback I hear: "You don’t need a 'system' for your relationship. You should just talk every day."
And hey—if you've been married for years, have kids, and still find time for deeper discussions every single day? I’m so happy for you!
But I don't think that's the norm. It’s so easy for deep conversation to get buried under logistics, to-do lists, and "is the dishwasher clean or dirty?"
A monthly Life Dinner carves out space to reflect and keep building the relationship of your dreams.
Pssst. “Life Dinner” is Week 29 of Ben's Year of Systems course! If you liked this system, you’re going to absolutely LOVE the other 51 that Ben put together for your relationships, health, career, mindset, and more.
How to claim your course:
- Pre-order the book from any retailer.
- Copy and paste your order number here on Ben’s cool website.
- As soon as it's verified, you get an email with instant access to Year of Systems!
All my love,
Jade
P.S. Send this to someone you want to do Life Dinner with. ❤️ And if you enjoyed this method, hit reply! I personally read every single note you send me.
I got the kindest email replies about last week’s newsletter about 6 old-soul habits to bring back this summer. Here were a few of them. 🥹
- “Thanks, Jade. I think this article is one of my favorites to-date, of yours. Brilliant!” —Aimee
- “Jade, this was exactly what I needed to read today. 'Offline is the new luxury' is my new summer motto.” —DS
- “I'm twice your age but continue to be one of your readers. Your writings are truly informative. 👍" —Teddy
- “Greetings from a subscriber of yours from Italy. I appreciate all of your content - thank you for all that you give us, and for free! This email from yesterday though is PURE GOLD.” —Andrea
- “Every time I read your newsletter, it’s like you wrote this personally for me....thank you so much, Jade! Whenever I'm upset, I read one of your newsletter and it works like magic....so much love to you!” —Radhika
- “You described the life I want in this latest newsletter. I had forgotten it is still possible. ❤️” —Megan
Thank you to every single one of you who took the time to reply. I can’t tell you how much it warms my soul. You are what makes this journey so meaningful.
You can catch up on all The Quiet Rich newsletters here.
