CONTEXT
If I asked you “what do you want out of life?” …what comes to mind? I’d bet your first thought was something like “to be happy.”
In fact— pretty much everyone would say “to be happy.”
But here’s the thing. It’s so universally true that it’s not actually helpful at all.
A much more interesting question to ask yourself is: “What are you willing to struggle for?”
Let me explain…
THE ONE QUESTION
Everyone wants to be rich.
↳ But are you willing to struggle with all the late nights and weekends working?
Everyone wants a fulfilling relationship.
↳ But are you willing to struggle with the tough conversations to build it?
Everyone wants to be physically fit.
↳ But are you willing to struggle at the gym after a long, exhausting workday?
Who you are is defined by what you are willing to struggle for. And you’re capable of so much more than you think…
WHY IT WORKS
Many of us have a tendency to believe that someone is coming to rescue us. I called it “Disney Princess Syndrome” in this LinkedIn post last week (and many of you sent me the kindest messages about it).
Yes, men also have Disney Princess Syndrome. 😅
You know that tendency to wait for:
- Someone to magically recognize your brilliance at work?
- The mentor to swoop in and give you that promotion?
- The “perfect person” to find you, immediately know how to love you, and give you the life you deserve?
Here's the tough reality: You have to create your own happily ever after. Breaking free from that limited mindset means:
↳ Advocating for yourself. Make your goals known. Ask for the raise, the opportunity, the mentorship.
↳ Proactive problem-solving. Don't just wait for someone else to find a solution; start figuring out your best path forward.
↳ Rejecting perfectionism. Hot take: I don’t think you “find” the perfect partner. I think you find a person who is willing to put in equal effort to “build” the right relationship. Growth takes work.
- I love this blog post by Tim Urban about “how to pick a life partner.” Scroll down to #1: “The Traffic Test.” 😂
To summarize? Let’s put in the work to be the hero of our own journey, rather than waiting for rescue.
Side note— I can’t stop thinking about this iconic interview Cher gave in 1995. Cher’s mom said to her, “You know, sweetheart, you should settle down and marry a rich man.” Cher replied, “Mom, I am a rich man.”
Until next week,
Jade
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